Is it really only January?!

Originally uploaded by sharna.

PMS is a crazy thing. I spent a good chunk of last night crying my eyes out and then wilted once again today but this time it was in front of one of my professors. Nope, I wasn't in her office as one might think, I was standing at the front of the lecture room. Thankfully class was over and my back was turned to the majority of my peers. Oh the joys of hormones.

Of course she said all the right things as I blubbered my shaky embarrassed apology while wiping at the never ending stream of tears: you're tired, you're frustrated, you have a tonne on your plate etc. She then assured me that she would help me with my most major issue and suggested I not stress about handing in a proposal that's due tomorrow. Of course I will get the proposal done but at the time hearing those words was exactly what I needed.

One of my girlfriends assured me that I wasn't alone in the 'weeping in front of the prof department' - nevertheless I'm still pretty embarrassed. I need to get some sleep, wipe a few assignments off my plate, finish up the resumes and cover letters that need to be sent out and drink a glass of wine... then I'll feel much better. Ugh.

I would much prefer to drink the wine, go to bed and wake up in May. I know I'm almost there and that I'll get through it but hell, I'm allowed to have the odd self-pity day, right?!

Why I Love Grade One

I've moved from the junior division to the primary at my PDS. I'll be teaching six weeks straight in the grade one class after March break, until then I'm at the school one and a half days a week shadowing two phenomenal teachers (grade 1 & grade 2)

Kids kill me. I'm going to post memorable quotes and questions here, figure I may as well share the laughs and my "uh oh" moments with you.

Things that make you go hmmmm....
If Christ was Jesus' last name are there still people over there named Christ?
Why does your nose run when you go outside in the cold?
Do teachers get dressed when they leave school?
Did Jesus have a son?

So serious but so funny.
That monkey worries me.

Brilliant!
Child who struggles with reading, after flipping very quickly through a book responds to my
request that he read the story to me, "I don't want to read it aloud, I read it in my head so now you read it to me and I'll tell you if you're right."

You've gotta love 'em.

go Go GO!

Things have been crazy around here for the last few weeks: 8 zillion major assignments and a whole load of lesson plans left me with barely enough time to eat, let alone blog. I'm now officially done all but one of my classes; one more assignment to do and I'll then be finished writing papers until the new year. Yay!

This is a crap picture but it shows you what the state of my sweatshop (named lovingly by Tanya) has been in, in recent weeks. The cat's like, "What the hell is going on in here?"

After this latest stretch of insanity I've come to the conclusion that I need a bean bag chair.

Of course that doesn't mean I'm off the hook for work. I just finished week one of my three weeks of teaching in a grade 5 class and I'm loving it! The kids are funny and really sweet. So far so good with the human body, it's a lot for the little monsters to learn but they're taking it all in stride: two systems down and three to go. I've been getting really great feedback from the classroom teacher and one of my profs came in to observe me last week and had lots of lovely things to say to me which helped boost my confidence. I'm finally feeling confident in my abilities, I can't tell you how good that feels.

An apology to my faithful readers, I've been failing miserably in the posting department lately; I'm going to try to write more often, I promise. Of course the posts will be in between sewing the pile of custom orders through Gingham Skies that I need to get going on and preparing for that little thing called Christmas that is quickly approaching. Argh. I should probably start my Christmas shopping huh?
**note to family: Christmas gift ideas please or tell me to go for it and surprise you.

ANUS!

Did you laugh? Well I can just about guarantee that if you were in grade 5 surrounded by your friends and you heard the word anus you would laugh. I'll be able to tell you for sure in a couple weeks when I teach my lessons on the human body. The hardest part will be not joining the little buggers in their gigglefest. Yep, the digestive system lessons mean "anus" and "bowel movement" in the same 45 minute period. Lovely. I think I'm going to skip out on "bowel movement" and just go for the ever so popular POO.

I wonder what new Google searches will be bringing visitors to my blog after I publish this post.

Who Am I?

Photo credit: Stanco on flickr

I'm so tired I'm not even sure I would know my name if it wasn't for blogger displaying it for me. This teachers college thang is making me very sleepy. Work, work, work, work. It's crunch time and there is an insane amount of work to be completed in the next two weeks. Thankfully I know my limit and don't stress myself out like I used to. No more working past 10pm unless it's to finish one of my 8 billion assigned readings; I'm less likely to whip a textbook at the wall after 10pm if I'm reading it for knowledge sake than I am if I'm reading it for the sake of a research paper. Trust me, I know from experience.

Only two and a half weeks until I begin my second teaching block placement, yep that means three weeks with twenty-seven 1o year olds followed by a three week break for Christmas, I can't wait! It's hard to believe I'm nearly halfway through my program... it seems like just yesterday that I posted this and now I'm only 6 months away from completing my dream. Time flies!

I'm relieved to say that I'm actually looking forward to my block with the grade 5 class, although I requested a grade 5 or 6 class I was nervous about it (which was the reason I went for it, figured I better grab the bull by the horns so to speak) but now that I've spent a few days hanging out with the teacher and the students I'm not worried at all. They're a sweet bunch of kids and the teacher is good, I think I'll survive. I'll be teaching a unit on the human body in Science, that should be interesting... not interesting 'hmmm', more like interesting 'uh-oh'.

Oops, I nearly forgot...
Thankful for 30 thought of the day:
4) I'm thankful for my cozy bed and cushy pillow made of that weird memory foam stuff; it's going to feel sooooooooo good when my lid hits that foam tonight!

A Teacher in the Making

Today was the first day of my two week block practicum and I survived to tell the tale. I'm in a grade 3/4 split class led by a phenomenal teacher. For the next two weeks I'll be teaching up to 25% of the lessons each day. My lesson plan for Writing today was B-O-R-I-N-G but I made it through the introduction to leads and I'm fairly certain the kidlets now understand what the elements of a good lead are. I know they're permanently etched into my brain after hearing them a zillion times in 40 minutes. Tomorrow's lesson will help me to assess whether the little monkeys really grasped what was drilled into their little beans today.

A few key things I learned from day one of teaching: avoid delivering mega dry lessons if at all possible; creating examples of written work on the spot with the help of 20 eight and nine year olds is more difficult than one might think; tell volunteers what they're volunteering for before selecting them or you might end up with a child looking totally stunned and uncomfortable in front of their peers (thankfully I thought quickly and fixed this scenario before any permanent damage was done); when you've run out of time but still have kids who want to share their thoughts have them turn to an elbow partner for ten seconds of sharing, if you don't do this you may have what appears to be a deflated child on your hands. Oh and just to ease your concerns: no children were harmed during the delivery or this lesson.

This is...

This is what I want to be when I grow up.


A teacher!! I'll be all grown up next May assuming all goes well this year. The next thing I want to be is a mom of course. Hopefully I'll be as amazing at that job as my own mom is.

Taking a Five Minute Breather

Wow! I'm nearly at the end of my third week of school and I have yet to post about it. My Bachelor of Education program is excellent; it's only the second year that it has been running so there are still kinks to be worked out but overall I'm really happy with the program.

It's crazy intense and very different from what I have heard about other Bach. of Ed. programs, this I'm glad of. I am totally overwhelmed but managing not to stress - which in itself is a miracle - I think my three years of full-time work and full-time studies was excellent preparation for this program. I'm very happy that I didn't plan to work regular hours while in school this year because there is just no way I could have handled it.

My professors are excellent, they are all retired teachers and/or principals, who absolutely love teaching and want nothing more than to help me and my 67 classmates become the best educators we can possibly be.

I have met some fabulous people in my classes and I have little doubt that after this year I will have gained some new lifelong friends. How great is that?

My placement for the year is in a local Catholic school. I'll spend the first couple months with in a grade 3/4 split, then a few in a grade 5 class and my final stint will be split between a 2/3 and a grade 1 class. This is my dream schedule, exactly what I had hoped for, so I'm really excited about my practicum. Don't get me wrong, I'm full of nerves and actually "scared" would be a fair descriptor, but it's a good nervous if there is such a thing.

Speaking of school, I need to get back to the books so this is a short and sweet update on the life of Jaime.

Stocking Up!

I am in love with office and craft supplies. I've probably mentioned this before because it's a slight problem I have. I can't go into Staples, Fabric Land, Michael's or Len's Mill without buying something, even if it's just a highlighter. Cara pointed out to me the other day that it's a good thing I like school supplies considering I'm going to be a teacher. She got me thinking, maybe my obsession with pretty pencils was a sign pointing me towards my future... too bad I didn't figure that out ten years ago.

Less than a week to go before my first day of school so of course I had to go shopping for new supplies. Binders and pens and highlighters! OH MY! Yes I'm a dork and no I don't care who knows it.

I certainly showed my age to all the little uni students in my university night classes when I yanked out the pencil case I bought in 1990 so I decided to update my 'look' by making myself a new one. I love the finished product and plan to make a matching laptop sleeve. Aside from loving the look I'm really pleased with the style and intend to make my Little Bits Bags using this template from here on in.

EEk! Just five more sleeps...

One More Week!

It seems like just yesterday that I received the fabulous news in my mailbox telling me I had been accepted to the teacher's college of my choice. Now the butterflies are fluttering madly in my belly because my first day is only one week away. Eek!

I have a few tasks to complete this week to ensure I'm ready for school and there's one you might be able to help me with. I have to fill out an information form and send it in to the school by Friday and I'm stumped on how to answer the question they are asking: list two things you want your professors to know about you. What the?! I don't have any learning disabilities and I have a feeling they don't want to know that my favourite drink is pink champagne... so what do I write?! What do you think they want to know? Thoughts?

I did it!

I am officially a university graduate! It was an absolutely fabulous day. This picture pretty much sums it up:

A big thanks to my cheering squad!

YAY!!

Tic Toc

Six hours from now and I will be walking out of the final exam I have to write in order to complete my Social Development Studies Undergraduate degree. I. Am. Freaking. Out.
In a good way. This post is just a heads up to all those reading this: if you feel the ground beneath you shake or feel your eardrums pop due to an ear piercing shriek six hours from now please don't be afraid, it's only screams of joy rocking my world and in turn yours. The countdown is truly on ladies and gentlemen, freedom is within my reach.

In a Daze

Nothing could kill the mood I'm in right now. I opened my mailbox today to find the best news EVER! I am one of 70 students who have been accepted at the university I've been crossing my fingers and toes hoping to get into! It's real now, I'm going to teacher's college this September!!

I can't stop grinning and I feel like I'm floating! Life is good!

Freaky Horoscope

Isn't it weird how some days it's as if your hororscope was written just for you?

Tomorrow morning at 10 a.m. EST my interview for teacher's college will be taking place. EEEEEEEK! Send me some positive energy people!

Check out my horoscope for today:
"You are standing at the very edge of an opening and you will get to walk through this window of opportunity over the next few days. In the meantime, make the most of where you are by paying close attention to what's happening. Watching how others respond to you is one way, but don't forget to also tune into your own inner process. If it happens in your imagination, it can also happen in your real life."

Window of opportunity here I come! Oh and the whole, "if it happens in your imagination" bit... do you remember this converstation?! Weird.

One Step Closer!

Well apparently the hard work I put in to completing my teacher's college application for my dream school and all the positive thinking I've been focusing on have paid off. I received a phone call today from a lovely lady congratulating me on being chosen for an interview! February 19th at 10:00 a.m. will be the moment of truth. Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!!

I'm one step closer to being accepted, how fantastic is that?! Now I need to focus on happy thoughts for the interview - ugh how I hate interviews. Thankfully it is only 15 minutes long and there will be a panal of just two interviewers (likely retired principals). I'm going to ask my current principal to sit down and have a practice interview with me, the more prepared I feel I amthe less likely it is that I'll melt into a puddle of nerves on the big day.

I'm so excited!!

Hold On She's Gonna Blow

She is my sunshine

The glowing stick woman drawn in the above pic by Sam is a perfect representation of me right now. I've finished exams, I had a fabulous weekend, mike & I bought a beautiful pre-lit Christmas tree which is sparkling in our living room and life is goooot.
The stick dude would be mike who is holding on tight, tight like a super loving straitjacket.

I've been zipping around like a crazy-rubber-bouncy-ball say that 5 times fast ever since I finished exams Saturday evening. Mike's reaction to the 'no more school jaime' always makes me laugh.
For the first two hours after my return from writing french he looked a little shell shocked but like the fab man he is who by the way is equally as nuts as me he joined in my silliness, only shaking his head and asking 'who are you?' about 20 times in total.

He told me that it's always a shock to him when I end a term because he's so used to 'school jaime' I assume he means the psycho nasty woman that has taken over my body for weeks at a time over the past 3 years (since I've been doing the full-time school & full-time work combo).
When asked which Jaime he prefers he was hesitant to say, and now that I think of it he never really did give me a straight answer... hmm. The psycho stressed jaime is unpredictable (watch for flying objects) but a little quieter than the 'free from school jaime' so I'm guessing that's what makes him hesitate.

I told him he better not mind the more-ridiculous-less angry girl because that's who he'll be stuck with FOREVER, the angry one is only sticking around for another year and a half and then her ties are being sliced - she'll be free. Oh what a nice thought that is...
Mike mumbled something about the fact that by then I'll be pregnant and I swear I saw a look of terror cross his face - the thought of raging hormones rushing through my body apparently isn't something he is looking forward to. Wonder why? Muah ha ha ha!

And on that note... off to hunt for a sewing machine on Craig's List. There's bound to be something out there for less than the retail price.
Santa's going hunting for a bargain this year and Mrs. Claus is helping him out.

Brain spa?

Have you ever considered removing your brain from your skull and giving it a sponge bath? I have. The matter in my bean hurts and could use a good soak. Yes it's that time again people, brain drain is taking place once again. One 12 page take-home exam down and two 2.5 hour puppies left to write. Je n'aime pas le francais et le philosophie. Blech.

Words of Wisdom

Every now and then my man says something that makes me really think... not just think but actually shut up and think. Those who know me know that this is an impressive feat - there's a very funny sense the sarcasm? no? well you should family joke my brother started that involves looking for my 'batteries' and being unable to locate them - I talk a lot and sometimes struggle to keep quiet long enough to really hear what's being said to me. I stress sometimes because believe it or not for a chatterbox I am a good listener according to lots of people excluding my brother. Anyways tonight was one of those nights where not only did I stop long enough to hear my husband but hours later I actually remember exactly what he said -- this is unusual for me, I'm terrible when it comes to quoting people.

Fantastic words from my fantastic husband: "Expect the best and prepare for the worst." This is going to be my new motto.

I have been trying to change my thought patterns recently. I'm sure it has something to do with the book "Eat, Pray, Love" which I'm presently reading and a whole lot more to do with the fact that I'm turning 30 in just a few short months I'll save that for another post. Basically I'm trying to get rid of my negative thought patterns and replace them with positive ones. It's not that I'm a really negative person but there are a few things that I mentally harp on that need to be flushed out of my bean.

Teacher's college is one of these negative bits that I'm struggling with. I'm feeling a whole lot of pressure to get into a particular school because a) I want it so bad I can taste it b) the alternative kind of stinks and c) everyone thinks that I should be accepted. With my experience and sheer brilliance I'm kidding I am the "perfect candidate" for the program. Many of the fabulous people I presently work with (teachers, admin, consultants) and those from my past places of employment have told me this and I don't think they are saying it just to be nice. Of course I've heard it from my wonderful husband, both sets of parents, extended family and friends... but I'm not so convinced.

It's not that I don't think I deserve to be accepted, because I truly do, I've worked my butt off to get this degree finished in three years while working full-time. I have loads of fabulous experience with special needs children and well... I absolute adore kids and cannot imagine myself doing anything other than teaching. It's the number of people actually accepted into the program compared to the number that apply that is causing my brain to think unhappy thoughts. My odds of acceptance are slim: 2800 people applied last year and only 70 were accepted. Okay I shouldn't ignore the fact that 1100 people did not meet academic requirements so really the ratio was more like 70:1700. Ouch.

Lately I've been telling myself and everyone else who will listen (when discussing teacher's college) that I'm not expecting to get into the program. The reason I keep stressing this is because I don't want to be crushed if I'm not accepted. For the past two years everyone I know has told me that they "know" I'll get in and that if I "think positive and know it's going to happen" I'll be golden. As much as I want to think this way I can't and I explained this to Mike last night. If I think super positive and convince myself that "Yes I am getting into this particular program" and then I don't, I will be melt into a puddle right then and there and likely stay in puddle mode for quite some time and I don't want to deal with myself in that state. I've been there before and it's not pretty. I know I will be disappointed and this I can handle but being knocked unconscious with the weight of disappointment is a completely different story. My way of avoiding this situation is to assume that I won't get in and think that it will be a fabulous surprise if I do.

While discussing all of this with mike he seemed to understand where I was coming from and felt my frustration but he didn't fully agree with my way of thinking Negative thoughts rarely gets us very far so 'expecting the worst' is not likely going to help with achieving goals" think positive and positive will come. This is true (in my mind) but I know that out of 2000 people applying there are bound to be a good portion who are thinking just as positively as I am.

It was then that my wonderful man said my new favorite words: "Expect the best and prepare for the worst." Brilliant! What a great way of looking at things, this way I can think to myself "You're getting in" while also mentally preparing myself for the worst: not being accepted. It seems like such a simple solution... it's the way I can 'think positive' while not shoving my head so deep in the clouds that the fall will mean an extraordinarily long recovery. Thinking positive while still being realistic. Why didn't I think of this sooner? In my mind 'thinking positive' meant not allowing any negative thoughts into my head. Now I realize that the reality is that life isn't always fair and things don't always go the way you want them to so of course thinking positive doesn't mean never thinking of the negative things, it simply means expecting positive but being prepared for negativity to rear it's ugly head.

Thank you to my husband for clearing the cobwebs from my brain and a special thanks to the famous basketball player he was quoting (he remembered these words from a post-game interview a few years back). I am going to spend the next couple of weeks focusing on the completion of my application and once that is complete I'll start to look further into my second choice scenario 'just in case'. I don't expect that my negative thoughts will no longer pop into my brain because I know they will but when they do I'm going to tell them: "I have a damn good chance of getting in so please sirs would you piss off?"

Dizzy days

My bean is not working quite right today. I'm dizzy no I'm not pregnant thank you very much and I'm feeling completely wiped out. I've been exhausted all weekend; I actually cancelled plans with friends last night and went to bed at 9pm! How old am I?!

I have a doctors appointment on Thursday and I expect to hear the same thing I have heard every time I've gone in with a woe during the last three years: "You need to rest and find time for yourself; you're too busy". It's likely she'll add in: "find time to exercise" as well. She'll also offer to write me a note for stress leave if I so desire but I'll refuse because really, things aren't that bad and I'll save drastic measures like that for a time when I really feel like I need it. Thankfully I'll have completed my first pilates class by the time I see the Doc so I can tell her honestly that I'm making an effort to get my non-active ass in gear.

I am super pleased with myself this afternoon. Considering the state of my sleepy bod I've managed to get stuff done. I finally filled out the teachers college application form. Thank god. That sucker needed to be done asap, the deadline is November 30th but it can take a few weeks for transcripts to get from one school to the next. I've paid the silly fees ($200 to apply to ONE university - this included the cost of 2 $8.00 transcripts - how ridiculous is that?) and hopefully managed to fill everything out correctly.

Now I move on to the horrific Experience Profile. This is where I have to write an extraordinary essay on the topic of "Those who can, teach" - ugh. I'm going to start my outline this afternoon, wish me luck.

I'm more nervous about this whole process than I expected to be. I'll be thrilled when the application process is over with, then I'll just have to wait and see if I get an interview.

Speaking of school stuff, I filled out my intent to graduate form today too. That sure makes that light at the end of the tunnel seem brighter. I can't believe that I'm nearly done my degree, the thought of having my diploma handed to me makes me giddy. Three years of a hellofa lotta hard work will finally pay off. Yay for me!

The other mission accomplished today is that I finally managed to start to declutter - better late than never. Now that we have our fabulously wonderful cleaning lady coming in regularly I don't have to spend time mopping floors so decluttering is on the agenda. I love my grandma dearly but I have no intention of turning into the clutter queen she is.

I did manage to get out yesterday with some of my most favorite women on the planet for our annual Ladies' Day. A breakfast filled with chatter and lots of laughs was followed up with shopping at a few craft sales. It was a great day as usual! Thanks girls!

Plug Your Ears

or shove your head in the sand... if you don't want to hear me whining because here I go.

grrr. the font is all screwy in this post and I can't figure out why so I'm just going to to let it go... inhale, exhale, inhale....

I hate, let me be clear, I HATE philosophy. Did I write in earlier posts that I like it? Well I lied if I did. The course content is decent enough i.e. interesting to listen to and makes me think, but having to write about it sucks. Yes it's making me a more critical writer and yes blah blah blah. Animal rights anyone? Yes be kind to animals? NO you're wrong, animals have NO rights. Why? Because it's a hell of a lot easier to argue the NO side than the YES side and trust me when I say that because I have seriously considered both sides for a long ass time. I like meat. Do I want to eat stray cats? no but if I say they have rights then why shouldn't cows? Who cares? I agree.

I'm so articulate this evening. See what writing, and re-writing, and writing some more philosophical BS does to your brain? It's mush. I wish I could stick my head in the sand.

What really peeeees me off is that I'm likely going to miss out on Halloween tomorrow night because of this damn essay. Sure it's self-inflicted, I should have worked on it this weekend as I had originally intended, but that doesn't ease the pain of missing out on the little kidlets coming to the door. We're going to be "that" house on the street. Nooooooooooo!

"That" house is the house with all the lights turned off. When I was a kid I always thought that the houses with the lights off contained the miserable old trolls who were too cheap to spend money on candy. Never once did I think, oh those people are probably busy tonight, oh they're out with their kids or maybe they don't 'do' Halloween. Nope, I thought: "what jerks."

I'm typing a post on here rather than working on my essay right now because it's past 10pm which means no more essay writing. 9pm is my actual cut-off but I can sometimes push it. Tonight when the clock struck 9 I went downstairs to warn Mike that I was working late. He knows to come up and tell me to wrap things up if/when he hears random yelps of rage, screams followed by tears or things thumping against the wall: books, my head etc. I managed to self-regulate tonight and stopped working just as I was ready to slam my hand against the wall next to my desk (the first sign of jaime meltdown mode).

Hmmm... reading that over again makes me wonder if that's normal. I gently refer to it as a 'meltdown' while others may think the word 'psycho' is a better descriptor. At least I am able to stop myself before the top pops most nights.

What else did I intend to bitch about? Oh right: the frost. I've had to scrape my car windows for the past two morning and it sucks. I thought we might just skip fall & winter this year and move right along into spring. Guess I was wrong. Maybe a christmas tree will help ease the pain... ohhhh and christmas lights!! Michael are you reading this? I want christmas lights out front this year please and thank you. This weekend will be the perfect time to get those suckers up there--before it gets too cold. See what a post of complaint can do? I found something positive to clutch at, I bet your thrilled babe.

Final complaint and hopefully a motivator since it's in writing: I HAVE TO WRITE MY ESSAY FOR TEACHERS COLLEGE APPLICATION THIS WEEKEND.

Is it Friday yet?